But conversations with yourself is just insanity...

Internal struggles are the worst. Trying to make your mind up about something, trying to make a decision about your life.. when really you have no idea what you want. The internal struggles, the ones that no one else ever knows about, the ones that we sometimes even have trouble spotting ourselves... they're the most annoying. As the name implies, these annoying conflicts don't concern or involve anyone else, they're just between you and your little old self, making them even harder to deal with, and sometimes making it more complicated to resolve. The worst part about personal internal struggles is that there's parts of you, something inside of you, that wants both resolutions to your struggle. Hence it being a struggle, if you only wanted one ending it wouldn't be a conflict, your decision would be made. -.-
But you know what else that means, that means that no matter what you decide- however your struggle ends... either way, there's a part of you left unsatisfied. The part that made you consider the alternate outcome of the struggle. There you are trying to decide, between one ending to a scenario, or the other. But you have your reasons for considering each result. And that means that however it ends, one of the things you had as a reason for your choice, is disregarded. Unacknowledged. And there's always a part of you that gets hurt in that situation... the part that was unacknowledged.
It just doesn't seem fair really, that when making such big decisions.. you're basically guaranteed a loss either way. No matter how much you want both, the universe basically has to tell you "well you can't have that, and you never will. So suck it up."
I mean who's the universe to decide what we can and can't do with our lives anyway. Sigh.