Monday, June 20, 2011

Because at least a teddy bear will listen.

I sometimes wish, that we could create people from our imagination. But not just imaginary people, like actual, physical people. Yea i'm a bit crazy. But there's logic beneath my insanity.
If I could create someone from my imagination, I would create a sister-like figure. She would be like the loyal imaginary friend that many children have, but she would be real. Someone that would always be there to welcome me when I get home, but still never leave my side. But the main purpose for this imaginary-but-real sister, would just be someone to listen. Someone that I could vent all my problems to, tell all of my thoughts, and they would just comfort me and understand. Someone that I would feel comfortable having no boundaries with, not having to censor any information or have any guards up, just being completely honest, and knowing that they will always listen. This used to be the purpose of my teddy bears, I would hold them tight when I was sad and tell them all my troubles. They would never argue back, or judge me or care about what I told them. I never had to lie to them, they never expected anything of me... they were the perfect thing to vent at. But sometimes as young me sat hugging my teddy bears, I would have given anything in the world for them to hug me back. To be able to respond and tell me they understood and that it would all be ok, to comfort me and hold me tight, instead of lying motionless while I comforted them. As helpful and loving as my teddies were, I yearned for the place of my teddy bears to be filled by a person. To be able to actually let someone else know what I was feeling, instead of keeping it confidential to everyone besides myself and a few stuffed animals. And as I get older, the need for that human teddy bear doesn't seem to be going away, but getting stronger.

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